If only you loved me as I do
by Hanyou Ryuoh
Summary: While in human form, Inuyasha runs into Kouga pinning a half-nude Kagome to the bed. How much will this sight affect him as his weaker self? (Not to be read when depressed. Extremely angsty Inuyasha.)
1. Chapter 1

I wish I knew what you were thinking. Perhaps you thought I would love the surprise, but I certainly did not. Or maybe you just realised there was no way out of it. But then, that would mean you do not care.

It is surprising how distorted my image of you was. You were up in a pedestal ever since I met you, I never thought you would look down upon me. I could only dwell in the past, where the one person who had cared for me would console my aching heart.

But I kept thinking about you. All it would take was for you to smile at me and I would feel forever blessed. I lived off those brief moments when you seemed to notice me, an ever hungry beggar who could not bring himself to steal what he needed to live.

Then the moment came when our hearts were allowed to beat together. I still recall that day, with the softness of your skin and the entrancing smell of your embrace. I though I must be in heaven, and wished for that moment to never end. The world suddenly brightened and I was no longer a creature of the shadows. Your expression was so sweet I knew I would do anything for you to keep it.

And I will. Even if you do not love me any more, I will remove those things which take the brightness off your day. Still, I wonder: _Why?_

Why would you seek out somebody else, when I have done everything I can do to please you? I know I am nothing compared to what you deserve, but you said you did not want anything more than to be with me. How ironic, isn't it? I always thought you would end up going away because of my lack of self-esteem. I never actually thought it would be me the one to leave after getting my pride slashed to pieces.

How silly this all seems. I could have just sat there and watched, maybe I would get in the mood and even participate. But I just couldn't stay there, not without having the urge to rip his guts into pieces small enough to eat. I couldn't bare a second more of your pleading face, full of sweat from the efforts and shining in utmost delight. That face which I thought you only had for me.

I'm running without a destination. Running for the sake of it, running so that madness will not catch up with me. If you only loved me as I do...

At this speed, the images grow blurry and all I can see is your lovely face, surrounded by a halo of bright light that is rushing towards me. It gets so close I can almost hear you calling my name. But the sound comes from another direction.

I turn around. I can barely see someone who is calling to me, but it is too late. It is already upon me. I close my eyes and think of you, protecting in my mind those brief moments we shared. The truck doesn't even use the breaks.


	2. Chapter 2

As the door to the bedroom opened, Kagome prayed for it not to be Inuyasha. It hurt enough already that Kouga had forced this on her, she hoped no one would ever find out.

Kouga had come into her bedroom bearing a feral grin. She still didn't understand how he had come to this side of the well, no one else was supposed to be able to come through. For a moment, Kouga looked again like himself and mumbled something about Naraku and the pearl, but she didn't have time to think about it before he was upon her. Kouga had leapt on top of her, pinning her body onto the bed and pressing his body roughly into hers. She screamed, trying to shake him off.

His eyes were now black instead of the usual blue, and replacing his usual grin there was an evil smirk. His fangs had grown and his nails had turned into blood-red claws. He had not yet turned completely into a wolf, but Kagome knew he would transform any time soon. His wandering hands seemed to be everywhere, sometimes cutting her clothes and skin until Kagome's sight began to blur. She didn't think she had lost that much blood, but then her body felt so clumsy, her head so light and her arms so heavy...

She had heard someone coming into the house and had a sudden gleam of hope. Kouga saw this and let out a growl, pressing himself harder on top of her and carelessly covering her with scratches. He muttered: "If you only loved me as I do...".

Just as the bedroom door slid open, he grasped her arms and pressed his mouth hard on hers.

Kagome saw the look on Inuyasha's face just for a moment. She closed her eyes to try to convince herself this was a nightmare, and the next moment Inuyasha was gone. A tear dropped onto the bed. Inuyasha had been in human form. There was no way for him to save her, not now that he had seen her half-naked underneath Kouga.

Kouga.

He had caused all of this. She did not care how he had gotten here nor why he was in this condition. All she knew was that he had broken her and Inuyasha into pieces by just being there. And he would have to pay for it. Somehow, he would pay for it. She turned to face him, and found he was no longer ravaging her. He was holding himself for support, the black eyes and the red claws already gone. He looked pleadingly into her eyes, his face twisted in pain. His scream only lasted for a second until Kagome realised she was purifying her wolf-demon friend. Then he was gone, leaving his two shards of the pearl and a third one that reeked of Naraku's aura. Her dizziness suddenly stopped, but she did not feel any better.

Kagome held back her tears as she sprang onto her feet and darted out of the house and onto her bycicle. Where had Inuyasha gone? He must be somewhere near the park, he always sought a place with trees when he came to this side. She did not know what to tell him, she only needed to know if he was all right and would do nothing rash.

Then she saw him from afar. He was not running as fast as usual, but he still was far away. She pedalled as hard as she could, trying to reach out to him and embrace his muscular form. Not so far now, just a hundred meters more. Kagome called out Inuyasha's name. He seemed entranced toward the side of the street she could not see. She called again and saw his tearful eyes open wide in surprise just before he disappeared.

The truck did not even use the brakes.


End file.
